Monday, December 28, 2009

Book Review: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies


Not a novel to be meditated upon too seriously, “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” is a very fun ride for anyone who likes imagining familiar characters in new and exciting situations. As a long time reader of fanfiction, I was impressed with Seth Grahame-Smith’s reimagining of Jane Austen’s classic.

To throw out a metaphor: Austen painted a grand painting with many brushstrokes and Grahame-Smith recreated the same picture, but in pencil and with his own additions. I say in pencil not only because Grahame-Smith has trimmed much of Austen’s more flowery language, but also because he has made the characters sharper. The faults of disliked characters (Lady de Bourgh and Mr. Wickham, for example) are accentuated and more articulated, making it almost too easy to hate them. Love is more clearly communicated betweencharacters. Their speech and mannerisms are somewhat updated from Austen’s era.

However, like most fanfiction, the novel reads as very amateur work at times. One mistake I found unforgivable however was in Chapter 43:

“The gardener led them along the river, stopping to point out the occasional coy pond.”

It’s one thing to have amateur writing (one can be comforted in the knowledge that amateurish writing can mature) but to make such a sloppy mistake was difficult to pass over without comment.

Despite this, at the end of the book when Jane and Elizabeth finally are united in love and marriage with Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy respectably, the reader experiences the same relief and joy that Austen cultivated in her original, so it wouldn’t be far from the truth to say that Grahame-Smith has composed a successful piece of literature. He has kept the heart of Austen’s tale without being shy with his own insertions. This was a smart move. Had Grahame-Smith downplayed his interference, the novel would have come off as half-assed and would have failed. Luckily, Grahame-Smith has pushed the limits and the result is awesome.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

High School Crush

There's nothing quite like discovering your high school crush liked you back all along.

me:
I don't know if I ever told you you were my big high school crush (well, ya know now if I didn't) but there's one moment I always wondered about. Remember when we were in backstage crew and during one of the shows I ended up sitting on your lap in the dark?

If I had kissed you like I had wanted to, what would your reaction have been?

her:
I do remember that, and i wanted to kiss you too. I didn't know i was your big high school crush -- you were mine too.

me:
That's cuz we're AWESOME!

her:
:) Yeah we are

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Erupting


I took this picture in my room in my sophomore year at Bard College. My blond roommate had moved out because the noise had morphed her into an insomniac. We lived on the second floor of a mansion that had temporary walls crammed into it in order to make it a suitable dorm. The result? A building where a single sound flew straight through us all. I could hear when my neighbours' cell phones vibrated.

They had really awkward sex.

But then, so did I. Once my roommate had hunted down quieter quarters, my boyfriend moved in. Our relationship was still finding its legs. He was a sex addict and I had lost my virginity to him only two months earlier. Love is so easy. Relationships are not. However, it's been two years to the day since he popped my cherry. We're engaged and after clambering over fights and tears, our sex life is amazing.

Well, it was until last night.

Why do so many girls cry after sex? It's an old cliche that crops up far too often. Maybe it's because we're the ones getting stuck in. We physically have to open ourselves and it's hard not to open ourselves emotionally too. Vulnerability is terrifying. But I pushed through that and things were good, except last night I let him do something that made me uncomfortable and the status quo snapped like a twig. Fear is back. It's back and I thought it had been vanquished.

"It's because I'm sexually liberal and you're sexually conservative," he said softly as we stared at his ceiling.

I nearly snickered at the political frame he placed on our sex life but I wasn't really in the mood to laugh. He's right anyway. At the end of the day, I'm really not much of an explorer. Toys feel degrading to me. I'm afraid of being laughed at in a sexy outfit. It's hard to get over how silly role-playing feels. Anal sex doesn't feel all that good. I find ways to have good sex and then I work to make those tried-and-true moves better. His search for new methods or new toys makes me feel like all my efforts at improving mean nothing, though I know that's never what he intends.

I can stew and sulk. Or I can keep pushing myself to express what I want sexually. There's still a very small part of me that is terrified of being vulnerable in his arms. I want to show her that she's safe. I think it's very possible.

I will be fearless in bed someday. That's not to say that I'll try anything. But there will be no shame about what I do want and no guilt about turning down what I don't.