I liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer back when it wasn’t cool to be into vampires. And in the last few years, it’s become clear to me that popular vampire stories can have a myriad of plots but only one understanding of how relationships work.
Let’s recap.
We have THE GIRL…
It doesn’t matter that Buffy is a confident, evil-fighting hero and that Bella is a needy dimwit without a personality; they both play the exact same role of THE GIRL.
They have something “special” about them that makes them different from every other girl and that causes vampires to treat them differently—Buffy is the Vampire Slayer, Sookie is a psychic, vampire powers don’t affect Bella, and Elena’s doppelganger is a centuries old evil vampire.
Then we have THE TORTURED SOUL…
This is the vampire who believes loving THE GIRL is selfish and unfair to her. He spends much of his time brooding over his existence.
His relationship with THE GIRL will always, without fail, be a tug of war between feelings they can’t deny and pain. He always ends up hurting her but both will believe that theirs is true love anyway.
Then there’s THE OTHER SUPERNATURAL LOVE INTEREST…
After THE TORTURED SOUL flees from THE GIRL for whatever reason (likely a desperate quest to brood over his sins), THE OTHER LOVE INTEREST will be there to tempt THE GIRL, who will inevitably keep both men in a limbo where she yanks both of them along.
THE OTHER SUPERNATURAL LOVE INTEREST always tends to be better for THE GIRL in some way, but it’s inevitable that she’ll choose THE TORTURED SOUL over him eventually.
Consequently, both THE TORTURED SOUL and THE OTHER SUPERNATURAL LOVE INTEREST become much more interesting people and characters when they’re not trailing after THE GIRL like whipped dogs.
And this entire cliched trope thrives all because girls consuming these stories want to close their eyes and pretend they’re THE GIRL and that two men—one dark but responsible, one loyal but wild—with hot looks that never fade will treat her like she’s the only girl in the world.
And this is what sells.
Come on, ladies. This fantasy was fun in high school but I think it’s time to grow up and build some real romantic relationships.
