Tip #18

Choose your Omens.

Romantic comedies love to have omens peppering relationships, harking in advance whether a couple is destined to doom or fail. If you'll remember the 2001 John Cusack movie Serendipity, the audience can tell Lars and Sara's relationship is doomed when the ring he proposes with doesn't fit on her finger.

Life does not work like this.

There are signs indicating a failing relationship, yes. But they're things like: she's become a different person since meeting him and isn't being true to herself or he's had to give up things he loves because she demanded it. These signs indicate a lack of chemistry between two people and are based in real conflicts.

If the ring doesn't fit your finger when he proposes, it's probably because he didn't know how to get your ring size from you without spoiling the surprise.

And if you somehow lose your engagement ring someday, it doesn't mean it's a sign your relationship will fail. Because your relationship should be based on more than goddamn symbolism.

Spending your entire relationship looking for omens to tell you whether your romance is doomed to fail or destined to last for eternity means you've forgotten that your relationship is in your hands. If you want your romance to last forever then you're going to have to work for it.

Let me be frank. If you're looking for mystical or God-sent omens to tell you if your relationship is doomed or destined, then you are avoiding the responsibility of your relationship.

Tip #8

A good sex life is more than good sex.

I'd wager that talking about sex is more important than actually having it. Talk before sex, talk after it, talk during it, talk about it when you're not even thinking about jumping into bed. The more comfortable you are talking about sex with your partner, the more comfortable you'll feel having sex with your partner.

That extends to porn too. I once read an article about a man who looks at internet porn being found out by his wife and all the ensuing drama (she feels he shouldn't need it, he doesn't think it's a big deal, yada yada yada)...but all I could think about was, "Had they really never discussed porn before?"

Welcome to 2010! Everyone of every gender and every sexuality and almost every age has access to internet pornography and you would be hard pressed to find someone who hasn't taken at least one little peek. Even your partner.

Being honest about porn habits will bring any couple closer together. And watching porn together is a fun bonding experience you won't want to forgo. ;)

Tip #5

Be friends.

What makes an awesome friend? Someone who listens, someone who tells you like it is, someone you can laugh with, someone you can cry with, someone you can do nothing with and still have a good time. Why base your relationship on a different set of criteria?

Friendship is the secret ingredient to any healthy, long-lasting relationship. Neither you nor your significant other is likely to finish the race with looks and sex drive fully intact, so a romantic relationship clearly needs to have stronger foundations than the physical part.

Thus, friendship. Even if your sex life falls off a cliff, if you can laugh with your honey, you'll get through it.

Tip #4

Exercise.

You heard me. Exercising makes you feel happy and confident, which makes you a better significant other. When you feel good about your body, you become more relaxed in bed and can just enjoy being naked together without having to drag body issues into the room.

Not too mention, you'll LOOK better. I'm not talking about needing to get skinny, I'm talking about leading an active lifestyle. Exercise keeps the weight off (shocker) and helps tone muscles, which means you won't only feel better about yourself, you will actually appear more attractive to other people (especially your sig other, who sees you sans dressing more than anyone).

On top of all the benefits of being in shape (confidence, happier moods, longer lifespan, etc), your partner will appreciate you putting the effort in to taking care of yourself. Nothing is sexier than watching your nude lover come towards you with confidence in him/herself.

BONUS: Exercise together. I dare you not to let all that sweating and grunting lead to sex.

Tip #1

Don't take it personally.

She forgot to call you. He would rather spend tonight alone. She just doesn't like to play video games. He really has no interest in watching her favourite tv show with her. Any and all of these are fine fodder for a fight.

But they don't have to be. Try to realize that just because you're with someone, it doesn't mean that every decision they make is going to concern you. My fiance was stressed tonight and decided to spend some me-time at home instead of coming over and sleeping at my place like he usually does. I could get upset and wonder if he really just didn't want to see me and maybe I did something wrong...or I could say, "No problem. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."

After all, I have days when I want to be alone too.