Thursday, January 28, 2010

Tip #1

Don't take it personally.

She forgot to call you. He would rather spend tonight alone. She just doesn't like to play video games. He really has no interest in watching her favourite tv show with her. Any and all of these are fine fodder for a fight.

But they don't have to be. Try to realize that just because you're with someone, it doesn't mean that every decision they make is going to concern you. My fiance was stressed tonight and decided to spend some me-time at home instead of coming over and sleeping at my place like he usually does. I could get upset and wonder if he really just didn't want to see me and maybe I did something wrong...or I could say, "No problem. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."

After all, I have days when I want to be alone too.

Standards

You could say I have pretty high standards. For my friends and especially for my lover.

I demand acute honesty and intend to return the favor in full. If you aren't going to be 100% honest about who you are and what you do with your significant other, then why even bother trying to make a long-term relationship work with them?

First and foremost, be honest with yourself about who you are. If you don't like something about yourself, change it or learn to like it. I find it impossible to respect people who do not respect or have confidence in themselves. If you don't love yourself, I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to.

I believe in self-sufficiency. Relationships don't complete anybody. If you fail to be a well-rounded individual on your own, you will NEVER find yourself in a healthy relationship. For any type of relationship to last and be fulfilling, two people have to work together. There is nothing more vexing than a friend who can't say no; it's a form of dishonesty. And so we come full circle, apparently.